Answers Being Revealed!

Pure joy and excitement has got me singing praises to our God! Glory in the highest!

Hosanna, Hosanna!

May His name be forever proclaimed; the name that has given us life and spoke the earth into existence.  It is by Him and Him alone I type these words with such a joyful heart and happy spirit!

Just a heads up, I am going to share with you something deep and personal.  It’s about my life and the emotions I’ve faced recently.  A dear friend of mine once said that I should write Journaling’s of a Healing Heart.  Which would be entirely accurate for a title because God is always teaching us through our struggles.  So, why I am I going to share with you something so personal? For three reasons:

1. God wants me to proclaim all the marvelous things He has done for me.

2. He has suddenly given me an urge to write (very uncommon!) and if it's not for this then I don't know what it's for.

3. You’re reading this with a purpose. It’s not by coincidence or pure boredom, but instead you are reading this because God wants you to pull something out of this blog post. So if I wasn’t being real or vulnerable to sharing with you, then I’d be giving into fear of man.  But you know what, I’m going to be real because my life is a living, breathing testament.

Okay…here we go…

As you might have read in the previous post I’ve been searching in my heart for an answer.  An answer as to why my past relationship didn’t work out.  This hasn’t necessarily kept me from moving on but, I just felt that I’ve been cheated of knowing the truth --- because the “answers” I were given were poor and lacked honesty.  However, I also mentioned in the last blog that my sinful nature doesn’t “deserve” an answer, but the beauty of our Lord is that He delights in answering His sons and daughter’s prayers/questions.  God thoroughly enjoys revealing His works to me, so I can in return praise Him!

Four people. God used four people this past year to speak a sentence or two that would answer the question I’d been asking for almost a year now.  It wasn’t until the fourth person did I actually realize I’d been getting my answer all along!  After my break up, (approx. 10 months ago) four individuals at different times and places said these sweet words to me,

1. “When did you become such a beautiful woman?”

2. “There is something about you that has changed from last semester, it’s a great thing I just don’t know how to word it”

3. “I really, really like this new Kristen”

4. “We always knew that you were so bubbly all the time and had a love for God, but this last year…..this last year is when you have been on fire and really grown in your faith!”

It had hit me like a ton of bricks! Immediately all those words and comments had lifted my spirit up and answered my question! God said to me, “I have learning/growing for you to do and you can’t unless I have your undivided attention. Every minute of every day.”  

I may not know why my ex-boyfriend broke up with me. Or what his reasoning behind it was, but I don’t need to. For those few moments, I focused on what God wanted me to get out of this and it was to grow in Him in ways I couldn’t if I was still in that relationship. Am I a “new” Kristen than who I was when I was in the relationship? Yes.  But that’s not to say who I was when I was in the relationship was negative.  It just means that I am in a stage of growth and continuing to find out-- who I am as an individual.

So you don’t get the wrong idea, the relationship I was in was a beautiful, loving friendship of two people who centered their lives (and relationship) on Christ.  God used my last boyfriend in tremendous and countless ways that made me into the woman writing this post right now. God used him to teach me that I. Am. Beautiful.

He also led me further to the cross and what it means to be a genuinely sweet person.  I need to give him credit where credit is due.  He didn’t promise anything that he couldn’t promise and he respected me and all my values.  I don't regret a single thing.

....Which made it that much harder to understand why it was only a chapter in my life and not life long. Which also made it frustrating when I felt I wasn’t given the truth at the end.

But it’s perfectly okay now.  < 3 Because in our weakness He is made strong (2 Corinthians 12:9) I don’t know what the future holds for me, but for today and right now, I am single because God wanted me to discover who I am as a woman.  Jesus Christ decided before I was born that during this season of my life, He was going to be the only man in my life!

So brothers and sisters, open your eyes.  The answer could be right there in front of you. God doesn’t give up until you see, learn, or recognize that what you’ve asked for has indeed been given!

Continuing to grow,

Kristen (: