If it’s His will…it will happen.

Within this last year, God has clearly revealed His great deeds and plans for me.  I’ve seen His workmanship and art displayed in my life like never before and it’s caused me to see through His eyes.  It’s simply breathtaking to see God’s will for my life show itself in such intricate and personal ways.

Now don’t get me wrong, there has also been a great deal of confusion but nevertheless---He has opened doors, changed hearts, and given a whole new perspective to answering prayers.

The thing about God’s will is that more often than not He opens many doors for us and it’s up to us to choose.  The Lord gives us free will to decide for ourselves and whichever door we choose He will bless us.  If we come to a door that’s shut, then it’s simply not in His plan.  But you better believe that He has other doors open for you.

Two weeks ago God made it obvious to me what I had to take care the moment summer began.  The thought of what I was going to do was bittersweet; I knew deep down inside that I wanted/needed to do it, but was I strong enough to face such a challenge? You better believe it because God won’t tell me to do anything that He hasn’t been prepared me for.  So it was obvious to me that if He was telling me to do it, that I would succeed with the power of the Holy Spirit.  God broke down any walls of self-pride along with fear of man and just to make sure it was His will for my life and not the flesh, I prayed for direction, strength, and humility.

Let me tell you---when the time finally came---never in my whole life have I faced a situation where every single step I took and word I said had to be that of God’s or this situation could not happen.

As I took a leap of faith, literally everything fell into place so I knew this was time and I knew this was God!

So, don’t underestimate the power you have in Jesus Christ. =)

“You may have to step out to find out the right thing to do. If you don’t hear clearly from God, just step in the direction you think you should go, and wait for the peace.  If you lose your peace, back out of wherever you were headed”

Let God be your guide because each day is a new start and there will always be new plans for your life just waiting to unfold day by day.  I myself have many questions about the future, but I’m learning patience and, “not [to] be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God” (Philippians 4:6).

  

Clothed with His strength,

Kristen (:

Worrying is a waste of time.

Do you ever have those sleepless nights where it's not homework or a sleepover that's keeping you awake, but instead those thoughts of worry rushing through your head like a river current with no end? I do. It took me three hours after I laid my head on the pillow to fall asleep last night because it felt impossible to 'stop thinking' and stop worrying.  The lack of sleep and constant worry resulted in a headache the next morning that then lead to a stomachache because of the pain. Not fun.

This all began because of a worry I had. 

As I rushed to class in hopes that the ibuprofen would kick in immediately, I was prompted to open the Internet and look up bible verses dealing with ‘worry’.  On Biblegateway.com I saw the verse,

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own” (Matthew 6:34).

I absolutely love this verse and when I finished reading it, I heard myself saying, “duh!” in the back of my head.  This is the verse I am always saying to anyone in my current situation.  I’ve written it down in so many places that it was almost comical that I didn’t think of it myself.  The worry had been so overwhelming and the pain in my head was just a reminder of the thoughts that kept me tossing and turning the night previously that--- it was the little thing I was so used to saying that had completely slipped my mind.  But God knew I needed to hear it.  God knew that the devil was going to keep playing games with me so the Lord intervened and won the battle. 

My God is the ultimate Healer.

The Holy Spirit encouraged me to look up the Word of God and to focus my attention on the one I always knew in my heart to be true.  He finds unique ways to communicate to us and they speak to each one of us a little differently.

After reading this verse, I mediated on it for a few minutes but was then forced to leave class early because of the physically pain I was experiencing.  On my way back to the dorms, I stopped to get food.  While waiting for the meal to be prepared I received a text from my high school bible study leader.  It was a prayer for me. <3 She wrote out the prayer that she had said that morning and it was to give me the strength I needed.

There are no coincidences. This time was God’s timing.

As I began to leave I ran into another dear friend who happens to be a brother in Christ.  He asked how he could be praying for me this morning.

---My morning just started and already God has given me numerous reasons to know that He is alive and He is listening.

God doesn’t sleep nor slumber; He is always taking care of His children.  Within the next 15 minutes, my physical pain had subsided and by the next hour it had completely disappeared.  Glory to God!  It is our God who encourages us to give Him our burdens and take up His own because His yoke is easy and His burden is light (Matthew 11:30).

So I encourage you this afternoon, run to the cross! Run to the cross and lay down any worries, fears, or doubts you may have.  The Lord of Lords wants to take care of them for you because He loves you unconditionally.  God is love.  Please feel free to leave any prayers requests you may have.

Strong in Him,

Kristen D.

Answers Being Revealed!

Pure joy and excitement has got me singing praises to our God! Glory in the highest!

Hosanna, Hosanna!

May His name be forever proclaimed; the name that has given us life and spoke the earth into existence.  It is by Him and Him alone I type these words with such a joyful heart and happy spirit!

Just a heads up, I am going to share with you something deep and personal.  It’s about my life and the emotions I’ve faced recently.  A dear friend of mine once said that I should write Journaling’s of a Healing Heart.  Which would be entirely accurate for a title because God is always teaching us through our struggles.  So, why I am I going to share with you something so personal? For three reasons:

1. God wants me to proclaim all the marvelous things He has done for me.

2. He has suddenly given me an urge to write (very uncommon!) and if it's not for this then I don't know what it's for.

3. You’re reading this with a purpose. It’s not by coincidence or pure boredom, but instead you are reading this because God wants you to pull something out of this blog post. So if I wasn’t being real or vulnerable to sharing with you, then I’d be giving into fear of man.  But you know what, I’m going to be real because my life is a living, breathing testament.

Okay…here we go…

As you might have read in the previous post I’ve been searching in my heart for an answer.  An answer as to why my past relationship didn’t work out.  This hasn’t necessarily kept me from moving on but, I just felt that I’ve been cheated of knowing the truth --- because the “answers” I were given were poor and lacked honesty.  However, I also mentioned in the last blog that my sinful nature doesn’t “deserve” an answer, but the beauty of our Lord is that He delights in answering His sons and daughter’s prayers/questions.  God thoroughly enjoys revealing His works to me, so I can in return praise Him!

Four people. God used four people this past year to speak a sentence or two that would answer the question I’d been asking for almost a year now.  It wasn’t until the fourth person did I actually realize I’d been getting my answer all along!  After my break up, (approx. 10 months ago) four individuals at different times and places said these sweet words to me,

1. “When did you become such a beautiful woman?”

2. “There is something about you that has changed from last semester, it’s a great thing I just don’t know how to word it”

3. “I really, really like this new Kristen”

4. “We always knew that you were so bubbly all the time and had a love for God, but this last year…..this last year is when you have been on fire and really grown in your faith!”

It had hit me like a ton of bricks! Immediately all those words and comments had lifted my spirit up and answered my question! God said to me, “I have learning/growing for you to do and you can’t unless I have your undivided attention. Every minute of every day.”  

I may not know why my ex-boyfriend broke up with me. Or what his reasoning behind it was, but I don’t need to. For those few moments, I focused on what God wanted me to get out of this and it was to grow in Him in ways I couldn’t if I was still in that relationship. Am I a “new” Kristen than who I was when I was in the relationship? Yes.  But that’s not to say who I was when I was in the relationship was negative.  It just means that I am in a stage of growth and continuing to find out-- who I am as an individual.

So you don’t get the wrong idea, the relationship I was in was a beautiful, loving friendship of two people who centered their lives (and relationship) on Christ.  God used my last boyfriend in tremendous and countless ways that made me into the woman writing this post right now. God used him to teach me that I. Am. Beautiful.

He also led me further to the cross and what it means to be a genuinely sweet person.  I need to give him credit where credit is due.  He didn’t promise anything that he couldn’t promise and he respected me and all my values.  I don't regret a single thing.

....Which made it that much harder to understand why it was only a chapter in my life and not life long. Which also made it frustrating when I felt I wasn’t given the truth at the end.

But it’s perfectly okay now.  < 3 Because in our weakness He is made strong (2 Corinthians 12:9) I don’t know what the future holds for me, but for today and right now, I am single because God wanted me to discover who I am as a woman.  Jesus Christ decided before I was born that during this season of my life, He was going to be the only man in my life!

So brothers and sisters, open your eyes.  The answer could be right there in front of you. God doesn’t give up until you see, learn, or recognize that what you’ve asked for has indeed been given!

Continuing to grow,

Kristen (:

Be Satisfied In Jesus Christ Alone.

May the Lord speak through me now and share with you how He has so meticulously taught me to look through His eyes and to love with His heart.  We can all agree that each one of us, at one point or another, has found ourselves thinking we deserve something. It could be something physical (house, clothes, food, etc...) or it even emotional (happiness, praise,...).  In fact, just the other day I thought to myself, “God has been radically transforming my life and making me into a God-fearing woman who is a world changer.  It is Him and Him alone that I find happiness and fulfillment in my days--and because I am so highly valuable in His eyes, I know that any man I date is going to be a Godly man who leads me in the right direction. After all, I deserve that. ” Or the reoccurring one I struggle with-- is deserving to know why the last relationship ended.

The very second this thought finished crossing my mind; I immediately was (lovingly) convicted of my word-choice.  Has God clearly stated that any future wife should marry a man who will lead her to the cross and be the head of her as Christ is the church, absolutely. (Ephesians 5:22-29) Do I deserve this to be true in my life, absolutely not. Nor is it necessary for me to have answers if the time is not right, my heart is not ready, or it simply isn't that important to my spiritual growth. To be bluntly honest about what we deserve--is hell. But because of God’s great love for us, “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16) This isn’t saying that God has no plan for me to get married, for that I have no idea because my mind can only focus on today. Tomorrow has enough trouble on it’s own (Matthew 6:34) But this is a red flag about renewing my mind.

You see the mind is a very powerful thing and what we convince our self is true, will became---true---even if it really is not.  Feeding ourselves lies will only hurt our well being and separate us that much farther from God.  Believing you are ugly or unintelligent are two of many ways that the devil uses leverage on you to keep you from being satisfied in the Lord God and believing His word.  So in my particular case, telling myself that I deserve something is a sinful way of thinking.  Instead, I am so blessed that the King of Kings has chosen to make me His daughter and He willingly wants me to prosper because of how much He is in love with me. God knows me better than I know myself so if I need anything (in this case an answer) than I will be given one.  But what I don't need is to worry because my heart lies steadfast in the Lord and, "I can [get through] anything [with] Christ who give me strength". (Philippians 4:13)

You see, my prayers for weeks now has been for Him to renew my mind and clear out any and all junk that the devil has taken occupancy of; All those ungodly truths, I wanted nothing to do with, so I prayed that He would make me aware when I spoke or thought any words that weren’t uplifting to my soul, loving to my heart, or sweeter than honey. (Psalms 119:103). Unless I focus on renewing and strengthening my mind, I won’t be able to sufficiently speak the Word of God if I myself don’t believe it.  When I realized what I had done I was encouraged! He answered my prayer and allowed me to recognize the trap I was falling into and He spoke with gentle words.

“Be satisfied with what you have been given, dear child. For I will fill your heart, mind, and soul with the Holy Spirit and that, that is enough. What more do you want? Something of the flesh? You have discovered that if it was up to you and you alone that those things are not enough because you were made for so much more.

With a satisfied heart, you will learn to serve others unconditionally because you have all you need, my Son Jesus Christ. Others don’t.  I have many marvelous ways that I plan on using you to spread the gospel, but unless you live it, why would the people you’re ministering believe it.  When the sun rises each morning and I open your sparkling eyes, pray to me to change your heart and make it selfless like that of My own. You will see that it is for your benefit and it will glorify me! For I your God will be well pleased with you!”

Listen carefully readers to what God is telling you. “You may have to step out to find out the right thing to do. If you don’t hear clearly from God, just step in the direction you think you should go, and wait for the peace.  If you lose your peace, back out of wherever you were headed”

Praying for you,

Kristen (:

Who I Am.

Good Afternoon!

Little about myself:        

The name is Kristen Doull.

I attend Cal State University Channel Islands.

Studying Biology with emphasis in Clinical Laboratory

I have one sibling: brother (older)

Parents: Married for 25 years!

I have a love for animals.

Friendships are of extreme importance to me.

Grew up in a Christian home.

Made the faith my own during sophomore year in high school.

I strive to share the gospel of Jesus Christ who those who don’t know Him.

My heart is in constant transformation. <3

P.S. The reason for this blog is simple. “Publish his glorious deeds among the nations. Tell everyone about the amazing things he does” (1 Chronicles 16:24 NLT)